


i'm in love

by i_was_human



Series: lit fic week 2020 [5]
Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, Bisexuality, Brotherly Love, Colors, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Lee Minsung is a Good Brother, Multi, Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25772974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: In a world where emotions are tied to color, MAYHEM discover the rainbow.
Relationships: Ahn Jaewon | Wyld/Kang Dongho | D.Min/Kim Daehyun/Lee Minsoo, Lee Minsoo & Lee Minsung, Past Kang Dongho | D.Min/Koko
Series: lit fic week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1882828
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	i'm in love

Minsoo's not sure how he finds it.

He's not sure what draws him to it - what draws him to this beaten-up warehouse in the middle of nowhere - but he knows it must be _something_.

(he doesn't feel anything, but this-

this is a flicker of something.)

He ducks under the caution tape, crawls under the slightly-opened door, and stares around the warehouse, unsure of how to feel.

It's completely empty, save a small box in the corner.

And on that box-

a device he's never seen.

He stares at it, taking a hesitant step closer. It's like nothing he's ever seen before - buttons on its front and textured columns on either side - and he leans forwards, pressing the triangle in hopes of discovering some purpose to it.

A noise fills the air, and he takes a step back, eyes widening.

It sounds like someone talking, but-

 _beautiful_. 

It's nothing like the noise he's used to - nothing like the noise of roaring cars or ringing school bells.

This-

this is _different_.

Before he can stop himself, he's moving along, twisting and turning as the sound rises and falls, and that _something_ in his chest sparks once-twice-thrice, catching onto the sound like a glowing flame. 

And he feels _something_.

It's so different from _nothing_ that he skids to a stop, that _something_ pounding in his chest like nothing he's ever felt before.

What is it?

His gaze catches on the gray tape over the entrance, and he stares-

because the tape is a color that is not gray.

* * *

The color, he comes to learn, is yellow, and the feeling, joy.

It's brilliant, bright and glowing, and he seeks it out, chases it as best he can.

This is how he meets Daehyun.

Daehyun's hair glows gold, glows in the sunshine, and though every part of Daehyun is locked in sickening grayscale, his hair is brilliant, intoxicating gold.

(there's more beyond gray, just like there's more to life than joy.

minsoo hasn't seen it yet.)

Daehyun's two years behind him, and gray-emotionless enough to agree when Minsoo asks him to come and see something _special_. There's no wariness there (no wariness in minsoo, either) when Minsoo drags him to the warehouse just outside of town and flicks on his beaten-up radio to play streaming gold music, no wariness when Minsoo tugs him into a dance and twirls him around.

He can see it - the exact moment it clicks. Some of the haze fades from his eyes, and he stares at Minsoo, lips slightly parted and a bright smile on his lips.

"What is this?"

"Joy," Minsoo tells him, and Daehyun stares at him, pressing a hand to his chest. 

"It feels... it feels strange."

"It feels hot, doesn't it?"

Minsoo's never conversed like this before - never had the chance to - and it makes that _something_ in his chest swell all the more.

"It feels nice," Daehyun murmurs, lips curling into a gentle smile. "Joy?"

"Joy," Minsoo affirms, and Daehyun's smile widens.

"I like this feeling."

* * *

The day Minsoo discovers bright-orange fear is also the day a new person discovers yellow.

He and Daehyun sit in their warehouse, chatting about nothing in particular, when something rustles. 

Too big to be an animal.

Minsoo's heart races, and he shoves Daehyun behind him, unsure of _what_ this feeling is but knowing it's important.

And-

it's a boy.

Gray hair, gray eyes, gray uniform - he's a year below Minsoo.

The three of them stare at each other - the boy's expression blank while Minsoo's heart races - and the eldest eventually moves to break the silence, offering a hand. 

"Hi," he states, trying for a grin. "I'm Lee Minsoo."

"Ahn Jaewon," the boy replies, voice flat, and Daehyun smiles, bounding forwards to sling an arm over Jaewon's shoulders. 

"Do you like music, hyung?"

"Music?"

Daehyun nods, pulling Jaewon over to the stereo (the name pulled from a book minsoo found in the box - along with a child's book of colors) and hitting play. "C'mon - dance with me!"

Minsoo can see a new color streaming over the gray walls of the warehouse, and it's only when he pulls out the book that he learns what it is.

 _Orange_.

The color of fear.

* * *

Jaewon fits perfectly with them, and it's so, so easy to make two into three when he's around. 

Jaewon is also the one that teaches them violet, albeit inadvertently.

Minsoo's sitting on the ground, reading through the book, when a hand lands on his shoulder.

He shrieks, eyes widening as he wheels, and Jaewon stares at him, hand raised and an apology already on his lips.

"Sorry-"

He doesn't need to ask if Jaewon can see it too.

There's a new color - one he doesn't have a name for - painting the thin strips of sky he can see through the warehouse windows, and based on the expression on Jaewon's face, he can see it, too.

"What was that?" Jaewon whispers, and Minsoo flips through his book, gaze landing on a previously uncolored page. 

_Violet._

"Violet," he states, gesturing to the gray-violet-orange sky. "This is violet."

Jaewon smiles, leaning in to wrap his arms around Minsoo's waist, and it's only then that he realizes he was shaking.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, voice muffled by the fabric of Minsoo's shirt.

"Hey-hey- it's okay," Minsoo soothes, reaching up to run his hand through the younger man's gray hair. "It's okay."

"That was definitely _something_ ," Jaewon laughs, though there's a hint of hysteria to it. "I didn't know you weren't listening-"

"It's _fine_ ," Minsoo reiterates, and Jaewon nods, pulling away to give Minsoo a blinding grin.

"I'm glad."

"What's going on?" Daehyun asks, bursting through the door with a bit of dirt smeared on his cheek. "Who died?"

"Minsoo-hyung and I found a new color," Jaewon smiles, and Daehyun's eyes widen, gaze flitting to the roof.

"That weird thing in the sky?"

"You saw it too?"

"I heard him scream."

Daehyun rocks back on his heels, lips curling into a teasing grin. "You scream like a girl, hyung."

"Oh, shut _up_ -"

* * *

Kang Dongho is a goddamn _enigma_.

He's in the year above Minsoo, and as far as Minsoo knows, works part-time at a furniture shop.

That's not what's confusing, though.

What _is_ confusing is the way he _dresses_.

Not the style - though that is part of it. No, it's because he _coordinates colors_.

Everyone at school chucks clothes on when they're out of uniform, and Minsoo's seen some horrifying combinations of colors in his time, but Dongho _color-coordinates_.

Which says two things about him.

One: he cares about his appearance, which nobody else has the capability to do.

Two: _he sees color_.

It's the second reason that he approaches Dongho at his part-time job under the guise of ordering sofas.

"So," he starts, and Dongho stares at him, fox-eyes narrowed to thin slits. "Come here often?"

"If you're trying to ask me out," Dongho replies, visibly unimpressed, "you're not doing a great job at it."

"Wha- who said I was trying to do that?"

"People only come to this shop for two reasons," Dongho states, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. "Either they want to buy furniture, or they want to go out with me. You're too shrimpy to buy furniture, hence the logical conclusion."

"Actually, I wanna buy a sofa."

Dongho stares at him, somehow managing to be even _more_ unimpressed than he was earlier. 

"Mhm."

"Wha- you're not being very good for business!"

"Most people I meet don't care."

Dongho stares at him, something flickering in his eyes. "But you're not most people, are you?"

"I guess not," Minsoo grins.

* * *

When people ask later, Minsoo will tell them that getting Dongho to deliver the furniture was part of his grand master plan to recruit him to their motley crew.

In the moment, though, it's just because Minsoo's got the shrimpiest arms of any human ever.

"Really?" Dongho states, arching one brow, and Minsoo scowls at him.

"Not everyone is as much of a muscle pig as you!"

"Muscle pig," Dongho repeats, and Minsoo folds his arms over his chest, lips pursing into a thin line.

"Yeah!"

"Do you think I work out or something?"

"You don't?"

"I dance," Dongho simply states. "I dance and move furniture."

"You dance?"

Never before has Minsoo seen the expression of someone who regrets each and every one of their life choices up to this point.

"Used to," Dongho clarifies, gesturing to his foot. "Snapped my ankle jumping down a stairwell."

"How- _why were you jumping down a stairwell_?"

"Running," Dongho vaguely replies, and Minsoo, contrary to popular belief, _can_ take a hint.

He just chooses not to.

"Running from what?"

"The world isn't just good people," Dongho states, gesturing to the carpet. "Now - can you carry this, or do you need me to do it?"

"I can do it!"

Minsoo cannot, in fact, do it.

It's this that leads to Dongho carrying a carpet _and_ Minsoo into the warehouse.

The second the door slides open, Daehyun and Jaewon freeze, tinny music still filtering through their stereo. Honestly, Minsoo thinks they couldn't look more guilty if they tried - and based on the way Dongho sighs, he knows it too.

"Hi?" Jaewon squeaks, slowly raising a hand to greet the elder. "I'm Jaewon?"

"He's Dongho-hyung," Minsoo grumbles, still sulking over being carried. "A dumb muscle pig-"

"Were you even listening?"

Dongho unceremoniously dumps Minsoo on the floor before depositing the carpet on the ground next to him, irritation flashing in his eyes. "Yah, red-hair. Help me out with the sofa."

There's a long, awkward moment where nobody moves.

" _Jaewon,_ " Dongho stresses, and Jaewon yelps, racing to his side. 

"Red?"

"You can't see it?"

Dongho's gaze flickers between them, something indecipherable in his eyes. "I thought... hm."

"What?"

"C'mon, Jaewon-ah. Sofas don't move themselves."

"Ah... okay..."

"What was that?" Minsoo grumbles, and Daehyun helplessly shrugs.

* * *

"So, how did you see color?"

Minsoo gnaws on a tasteless granola bar, gaze pinned firmly on Dongho's face. "Was it from music too?"

"Why are you even here?" Dongho sighs, scribbling something on his clipboard.

"I wanna buy another sofa."

"Wha- _where are you getting this money_?"

Dongho throws his hands in the air and rounds the counter, irritation evident. "Y'know what? I don't wanna know. What kind of sofa do you want?"

"I don't know," Minsoo grins - impish, scheming. "I think I need to look at _all of them_ to really see."

The look Dongho gives him is nothing short of _murderous_ , and Minsoo's grin only widens upon seeing it. 

"We'll _really_ get to know each other then!"

"I don't _want_ to know you."

" _Everyone_ wants to know me!" Minsoo beams, resting his chin on his hand. "I'm just that great!"

"Your ego is insufferable," Dongho mutters, leading Minsoo to the back room. "C'mon. The sofas are back here."

Dongho shoves him into the room, and Minsoo's gaze flits around the space, dread settling in his stomach. "Wha-"

Tarps cover furniture, and dust billows in the air, the only light filtering through a cracked window near the roof. It's a large room, but with the amount of clutter, one could be forgiven for thinking it's little more than a broom closet.

"What... what is this?"

Minsoo's feet leave the ground as his back slams into the wall, a pained cry escaping his lips. "Wh-"

"This _isn't a game_ ," Dongho spits, an emotion Minsoo can't recognize shining in his eyes. "And you're a _fool_ if you think it is."

"What?" Minsoo repeats, and Dongho's eyes narrow, the emotion only amplifying as his grip on his collar tightens. 

"Are you really this dumb?"

"I'm not dumb," Minsoo replies, and Dongho shakes his head.

"Minsoo, _you're not special, okay_?"

"What- what are you talking about?"

"You're _not special_. What you're doing- you're _lucky_. Not special. You're fucking _lucky_ you haven't been caught yet, because if you were, you'd face a lot worse than a slap on the wrist."

"You're not making sense," Minsoo helplessly replies, and Dongho shakes his head.

"Do you want me to spell it out for you? _You will die_. Did you never think to ask what happened to Minyoung? To Koko? To your _own fucking brother_?"

"I don't-"

"They _died_!"

Tears roll down Dongho's cheeks, and Minsoo's darkly intrigued by them. 

"Why... why are you crying?"

"You don't understand," Dongho bitterly replies, and Minsoo stares at him, bewildered.

"Try me."

"No."

Dongho loosens his grip on Minsoo's collar, letting the younger man fall to the ground in a heap. "You literally cannot understand. You haven't lost anyone that could make you feel this way. This was a waste of my fucking time."

He reaches up to wipe his cheeks with the sleeve of his jacket, dark eyes red-rimmed. "Joy is only one of the most important emotions," he states, and Minsoo's stunned by how put-together he seems when he was crying just a moment ago. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

The door swings shut behind him, and Minsoo blinks at the empty space for a moment, bewildered.

"Wait! _I still need a couch_!"

* * *

"...Dongho-hyung?"

Dongho scowls, putting his clipboard on the table as he turns to face the unwanted intruder. "What?"

"Um..."

Jaewon tries for a smile, and Dongho props his chin on his hand, leaning on the counter and staring at him. 

"What?"

"I wanted... I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come to the warehouse? I heard... I heard you used to dance, and I was wondering if you had any moves you could show me?"

"No can do," Dongho simply replies, sticking the end of a pen between his teeth. "Broke my ankle, remember?"

Jaewon stares at him, eyes wide and pleading, and Dongho flinches.

"Who taught you to look like that?"

"Look like what?"

"Like someone just ran over your puppy."

"Wh- my _puppy_?"

"Idiom. Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why do you really want me to come over?"

Jaewon blinks, and Dongho nods. "I knew it wasn't just that. What do you want, kid?"

"It- it is that!"

Jaewon drops into a quick bow, and Dongho stares at him, one eyebrow arched in a silent question. "Please teach me how to dance!"

"...you're a weird kid, y'know that?"

"Will you teach me?"

"What's in it for me?"

"I'll- I'll help you deliver furniture!"

Dongho stares at Jaewon - or, more accurately, at his stick-thin arms - and sighs, raking a hand through his hair. "Christ, you're determined. Did Minsoo put you up to this?"

"N-No!" Jaewon stammers, twisting and untwisting the hem of his button-down shirt. "This was all my idea!"

"...fine, kid. Four to six you work for me, and six to nine I'll help you dance. How's that?"

"Th-thank you, hyung!"

"It's a deal," Dongho states, turning back to his clipboard. "You don't have to thank me for shit."

"Still!" 

Jaewon smiles at him, bright and genuine, and Dongho feels his heart twinge painfully. "Thank you, hyung!"

"...don't mention it."

* * *

"Dae?"

Daehyun raises his head, leaning over the back of the couch to stare at Jaewon. "Hm?"

Jaewon smiles - soft and vulnerable - and he extends a hand in invitation. "Dance with me?"

"Of course!"

Daehyun places his book back on the table, rounding the couch to grasp Jaewon's hand. "What do you want to dance?"

"I don't know," Jaewon smiles, a little challenging, a little unsure. "What do you want to dance?"

"Do we need to have the steps?"

They stand in front of the mirror, and Daehyun flicks on the stereo, taking his place in front of the mirror before the song starts. 

It's an upbeat song, with thudding bass and resonant vocals that completely fill the space. Daehyun and Jaewon don't coordinate their movements - that's not the point of dancing together, at least not for them - and the blond stares at his partner in the mirrors, lips curling into a grin upon seeing the smile on Jaewon's face. 

He looks ecstatic to be moving, and Daehyun catches him singing along to the song more than once, lips moving in a silent parody of lyrics they don't understand the meaning of. He looks at home here, Daehyun thinks - hair catching the dying sun and an ethereal grin on his lips - and something he doesn't recognize pounds in his chest, the world flickering for an instant before returning.

(he doesn't notice it now, but jaewon's hair is a color that is not gray.)

"You didn't invite me?" Minsoo squawks, bursting through the door with all the subtlety of someone who thinks all thoughts must be screamed at top volume. "How could you!"

"You weren't here!" Daehyun calls, and Jaewon squeaks, diving over to flick off the stereo. "Of course we didn't invite you!"

"You could've called," Minsoo mumbles, flopping onto the couch. " _Rude_."

"Wha- you weren't _here_!"

" _Rude_!" Minsoo repeats, lips pursing into a pout. " _Rude_ , and _cruel_ , and _heartless_ -"

"Oh my god," Daehyun groans, and next to him, Jaewon wheezes, a hand pressed to his lips in a vain attempt to stem his giggles. 

"-you _never think about me_ unless I'm here? How _could you_ -"

"Oh my _god_ ," Daehyun howls, and Minsoo throws his hands in the air, though there's a smile on his lips. 

"Can't believe it. My best friends, forgetting to invite me? How _could you_?"

"Easily," Daehyun gasps, and Minsoo shrieks.

" _Yah_!"

* * *

"I'm home!"

The door clicks shut behind him, and Minsoo toes off his shoes, gaze flitting around the pitch-black room. 

It's lonely in here.

His gaze lands on the photo on the entry table - a family photo from years ago. It's posed, manufactured, his whole family staring at the camera with dead eyes, and Minsoo knows this photo well.

It's from the year Minsung died.

Minsoo remembers the weeks leading up to his death - remembers them in the same hazy, empty way he remembers everything else Before. Minsung would- he would ruffle his hair before bed, smile at him, do little things to try and make Minsoo smile, despite knowing it wouldn't work, and he-

he _hid something_.

He hid something under Minsoo's bed. Taped it there with duct tape.

Minsoo walks to his room - slowly, despite wanting to run - and closes the door, placing his backpack on the hook before bending to look under the bed.

And, true to form-

there's a video camera and laptop. 

Minsoo unwraps it with shaking hands, picking up the cord and connecting it to the laptop. 

They never found Minsung's laptop after he died. 

This must be why.

He pulls out his headphones and connects them to the laptop, plugging the video camera in as well. 

A page pops up, showing a number of videos, and Minsoo, like any normal human, chooses to start at the beginning.

* * *

"Minsung~ie!"

Koko drapes herself over the older man's back, staring at the video camera with wide eyes. "What'cha filming?"

"A video for my little brother," Minsung grins, twisting his head to stare at her. "What're you doing?"

"Ignoring Dongho," she grins.

" _Hey_!" the teen in question shouts, poking his head over the back of the couch to glare at her. "I just said I was doing homework!"

"No fun," she repeats, resting her chin on Minsung's shoulder. "Where are Aussie and Pinkie?"

"Dancing," Minsung states, thumbing in the direction of a stereo. "Also, you do know their names, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hyunseok and Taejin."

"...no."

"Seokjin and Hyuntae."

" _No!_ "

"I got it. Aussie and Pinkie."

" _Hyunjin and Taeseok!_ "

"Huh?" the two in question shout, voices harmonizing as they turn to stare. Unfortunately, Hyunjin stops short, and Youngjoon slams into him, sending the pair tumbling to the floor in a mess of limbs and shrieks.

"Ah, nothing," Minsung hums, waving them off. "I'm just filming a video for my little brother."

"Ooh!" Taeseok beams, bounding over to stare at the camera. "How old is he? Is he younger than me?"

"Nobody's younger than you!" Hyunjin shouts, and Youngjoon rubs at a bruise on his forehead, dismay shining in his eyes. "Ow, ow, _hyung, ow, stop_ -"

"They're so cute," someone remarks, and the camera swings to focus on a girl with long brown hair, hair tied back with a candy scrunchie and a bright smile on her lips. "Hey, push that away!"

"Minyoungie-noona," Koko coos, hopping onto the couch to wrap her arms around Minyoung, "you'll give me affection, right? _Somebody_ won't."

"I'm doing _homework_!" Dongho shouts for the second time, and the camera focuses on the boy in question, visibly younger - a foot shorter with a pencil stuck behind his ear and a goofy smile on his lips. "I'm doing _your_ homework too, Koko-yah-"

"For your lovely girlfriend-"

"-and a _thanks_ would be nice!"

"I already said thanks," Koko pouts, and Dongho sighs, turning his attention back to the papers. "Designated homework boy!"

"Just for today," Dongho grumbles, stabbing one of the papers with a bit too much force.

"Au contraire," Hyunjin cuts in, sounding like a pretentious asshole, " _you_ traded your spots to us in exchange for the mirrors _last week_ , hyungie-"

"The disrespect I get in this warehouse," Dongho grouses, and Koko grins, climbing over to sit on his lap. "Yah, Koko-"

"I am _interfering_."

" _Why_?"

Minsung sighs, the camera swiveling back around to focus on his face. "Why do I even try?"

"Because you _love us_ ," Hyunjin calls from off-screen, and Minsung sighs once more.

"I love _someone_ -"

"I still think it's adorable your little brother is the reason you see red," Minyoung remarks, and Minsung sighs.

"Thank you, peanut gallery. Anyways, if you're seeing this, Soo-yah, remember - hyung loves you a lot, 'kay?"

* * *

Minsoo reaches up to grip the fabric of his shirt, a fresh pain stabbing his chest.

Minsung.

His brother, his hyung, his _family_ -

he didn't even _care_.

He felt _nothing_ when he died. 

He felt _nothing_ when Minsung, the one who cared about him enough to risk all of this for him, _died_.

He barely even registers the new colors filling his vision as he hunches over, a fresh pain shooting through his chest.

Minsung is dead.

Minsoo's older brother is _dead_.

Minsung left him this laptop and these notes and _hell_ , Minsoo's willing to bet he's the one behind the stereo, too.

Minsung's always protecting him, isn't he? Just like an older brother should?

Minsoo presses a hand to his mouth, trying to stifle the hiccuping sobs that threaten to slip loose. Minsung - his _brother_ \- is _dead_ , and he felt _nothing_.

He doesn't _care_ that the bedsheets are a deep, deep blue, doesn't _care_ that the poster on the wall is a brilliant red, and _how can he_?

Minsung is dead.

His brother is dead, and all that's left of him are videos.

With shaking hands, he clicks over to the next one, ignoring the tears tumbling down his cheeks. 

He can watch this, at least.

* * *

"Minsoo... hyung?"

Daehyun raises a brow as he stares at the elder, book left forgotten in his lap. "What happened?'

Minsoo stares at him, clenching his hand into a fist, and he raises his jaw. "I know what happened to Dongho-hyung."

"You _do_?"

"I don't-"

Minsoo knows it, now - knows how Dongho felt trying to explain that to him - and he grits his teeth, preparing for a difficult conversation. 

"I don't know how to explain it. It's just... _feeling_. It _hurts_. It _hurts_ seeing Minsung-hyung like that, like he's not- I can't explain, but... they were friends, and Minsung-hyung died, and all of them died, and it's just- it _hurts_."

"Ah," Daehyun eloquently replies. "Hm."

"You don't get it, do you?"

"Nope."

Minsoo sighs, raking a hand through his hair. "You... you knew Minyoung-ah, right?"

"She was my friend," Daehyun replies, gaze going distant. "...why?"

"You might want to watch these videos, then."

Minsoo plops his backpack on the floor, pulling out his laptop and headphones. "Minsung-hyung recorded them for me, but... Minyoung-ah is in them, too."

"Okay...?"

He doesn't understand, Minsoo knows - he _can't_ understand. Not yet.

"Just trust me, okay?"

* * *

"Dongho-hyung?"

Dongho turns, and Jaewon freezes, lips curling into an awkward grin as he stares at their chocolate-haired leader. "What's going on, hyung?"

"I need to talk to Dongho-hyung for a second," Minsoo states, darting forwards to grasp Dongho's wrist-

and _hell no_. 

"Don't touch me."

Dongho rips his arm from Minsoo's grasp, and Minsoo stares at him, eyes dark and challenging.

"You knew my brother. Minsung-hyung."

"I did," Dongho states, and leaves it there. "I told you that."

"I saw the video."

Now, _that-_

that hurts.

Dongho remembers the day Minsung filmed it - all of them just kids, the oldest fifteen and the youngest eleven - and something buried deep in his chest _aches_ as he turns away.

"Oh," he simply states, and Minsoo grabs his hands, raising his head to stare into Dongho's eyes. 

"Please, hyung. I know why you don't want to try again, but I think you should."

"Who are you to say that?" Dongho snaps, and Minsoo grips his hands even tighter.

Dongho doesn't pull away.

(minsoo looks like minsung, in this moment. the same burning eyes, the same nose and mouth and plea-)

"You don't even remember him."

"But I loved him."

Minsoo bites his lower lip, but his gaze doesn't waver. "He was my brother. He was my brother, and I _loved him_."

Dongho can see it - the ember of grief flickering in Minsoo's eyes - and he shakes his head.

"I can't do that again."

"Isn't it better to feel and hurt than to never feel at all?" Minsoo retorts, and _oh_ , that's always been the question, hasn't it?

Should Dongho have met them in the first place, or should he have never let the girl with the blond hair and crop top drag him out of class?

He still doesn't know the answer.

But looking at Minsoo - at Minsoo and Jaewon and Daehyun - he can see something worth feeling for.

"...fine," he states, and decides not to mention that he'd be coming around anyways. "I'll join your little club."

"Yay!"

Joining is different than coming around, they both know - and that's what makes Minsoo grin.

* * *

The first time Jaewon sees red, it's in the briefest of flickers.

He and Dongho just arrived to the warehouse, and Daehyun's dancing with Minsoo, bright laughter ringing through the air. Dongho leans against the wall, the ghost of a fond smile on his lips, and something swells in Jaewon's chest - something _important_.

For the briefest of moments, his hair is a color that isn't gray.

And like a ghost, it's gone, and Daehyun drags him over to the dance floor, Dongho following at a more sedate pace.

"What's wrong?" the youngest asks, and Jaewon blinks, shaking his head to dispel the sight.

"Nothing. Hey, Dae-yah, what color is my hair?"

"Gray," Daehyun simply replies, tugging Jaewon in front of the mirrors. "Hey, hey, watch! Dongho-hyung's gonna show us something _cool_ -"

"He's always cool," Jaewon helplessly states, and Daehyun nods sagely.

"Yeah, yeah, but this is _even cooler than usual_."

It is, Jaewon admits, pretty cool.

Then again, Dongho's pretty cool.

He might be a bit of a fan.

It takes him around ten tries to really get the hang of the dance, and it's _nice_ \- being here with Daehyun on one side and Minsoo on the other and Dongho watching like an overbearing mom. It's _nice_.

Even if Dongho is just here because of a bet.

"Not terrible," Dongho states, and Minsoo leans over to whisper into Jaewon's ear.

_"That means he liked it."_

"No, that means it's not terrible."

Dongho places a hand on Minsoo's head and drags him back into order, and Minsoo whines, hopping up to throw his arms around Dongho's neck. "Wha-"

"I'm tired," Minsoo complains, and Dongho rolls his eyes, trying to slowly extract himself from Minsoo's octopus grasp. "Carry me to the couch, hyung."

"No."

"Me too!" Daehyun cheers, and Dongho manages to move in time for Daehyun to slam into Minsoo, the pair falling to the floor in a tangled heap.

"I'm not moving," Minsoo mumbles, throwing his arms over Daehyun's back. "Never again."

Daehyun hums assent, and Jaewon giggles, a hand coming up to cover his mouth as he stares at the pair.

"Cute," someone murmurs, and Jaewon blinks, a blush coating his cheeks as his head whips up in a desperate bid to locate the person who complimented him.

"Who-"

All three of his friends look... suspiciously innocent. Or, well, Minsoo looks as innocent as he ever gets, which isn't very, so suspicious for him. 

"Get up," Dongho finally states, nudging Minsoo with his foot. "We gotta keep going."

"Fine..."

* * *

Truth be told, Daehyun hasn't seen Jaewon's hair as gray for a long time.

In a way, he supposes, it could be attributed to the videos. Not to Minyoung or Koko or anything of the sort, but of the _feeling_.

The racing in his chest, the need to be near them, the ecstasy in their presence-

it only takes Daehyun a moment to recognize it.

Of course, it then takes him much longer to stop panicking about it.

Because, first off, Dongho is _blatantly_ heterosexual. That was made _abundantly_ clear. Secondly, Minsoo doesn't feel the same way about him. That too, he knows as fact. Thirdly, Jaewon doesn't even feel love in the first place, so _why is he like this_?

Why?

In that moment, _blue_ crashes over him, crushing despair tumbling over and over in waves of aqua and cerulean, and Daehyun hunches over in the empty warehouse, a harsh sob tearing its way from his throat.

It's _petty_ and _stupid_ and _moronic_ but _god_ , he loves them. 

What a fool he is.

"Daehyun-ah?"

He turns so quick he nearly gives himself whiplash, and the feeling isn't helped by the sight of Dongho lingering by the door, backlit by the last dregs of the sunset. 

"Oh," Daehyun rasps, reaching up to rub the tears off his cheeks. "Hey, hyung."

Dongho doesn't say anything more - and that's nice, honestly, nice that he knows he doesn't have to, nice that he knows Daehyun doesn't want to, nice that he _cares_ \- and Daehyun's heart weeps blue all over again as the dark-haired man takes a seat next to him, his face barely visible in the faint light.

He doesn't press, and Daehyun appreciates that. 

"I'm an idiot," Daehyun finally mumbles, and Dongho nods in a way that's apparently supposed to be comforting. "No, like, _really_. I'm a stupid idiot who's completely hopeless and maybe I should just go hide under a rock somewhere, because that would save me from the misery that is my life-"

"Positive today, aren't you?"

"Life sucks," Daehyun grouses, throwing himself across Dongho's lap. "Life sucks, and Minsoo-hyung is probably straight."

He's not sure why _that's_ the particular issue he chooses to focus on, but at least he didn't tell Dongho he wants to kiss him, so. Yay for small victories.

"Have you seen the way he dresses?" Dongho quips, and Daehyun barks a laugh, unsure of what the fuck that even means. "Nobody who wears a rainbow crop-top and patched jeans is straight."

Daehyun sniffs, reaching up to wipe his nose. "How do you know, hyung?"

Dongho stares at the mirror for a moment before looking back at Daehyun, and were it any lighter, Daehyun would be able to see the embarrassment in his eyes. "No reason. So... you like Minsoo-yah?"

"Yeah," Daehyun mumbles, acutely aware of how pathetic he is. "...Minsoo-hyung and Jaewon-hyung."

"Mm," Dongho simply replies, and Daehyun relaxes as long fingers card through his hair. "How long have you been awake, Daehyun-ah?"

"Since... four?" Daehyun ventures, gaze flickering to the door. "Oh. That... 'splains why I'm crying."

"Yeah," Dongho simply replies, the _"you're an idiot, Dae,"_ left unsaid. "You can nap, if you want."

Somehow, Daehyun knows _nap_ actually means _sleep_.

"You'll wake me up for curfew?" he yawns, already relinquishing his sanity to the siren's song of sleep. 

"Mhm."

Daehyun drifts off with his head on Dongho's legs and the misfortune of unrequited love heavy in his chest.

* * *

They don't talk about it.

It, being-

the way Minsoo, Daehyun, and Dongho interact.

Daehyun always toes the line between platonic and romantic flirting, while Minsoo careens full-force into the latter category. Dongho's more the recipient than the instigator, but when he does start it, Minsoo makes sure to tease him.

Jaewon, on the other hand, is caught in the middle.

He's well aware that whatever he's feeling isn't entirely platonic - the way he shamelessly ogled Dongho the day his shirt got soaked through with sweat after moving a piano is evidence enough - but he's _confused_.

He wishes he wasn't, but. Well.

There's not exactly a "how-to-have-a-crush-on-your-best-friends" book.

Still, the overwhelming realization comes after a long day of work and dance. 

They're sitting on the couch, Minsoo lying on top of Dongho and Daehyun's head resting on Jaewon's shoulder, and as Jaewon considers it, something _overwhelmingly fond_ washes over him. 

He's happy here.

He _loves them._

And it's a strange, strange concept - loving them - but one Jaewon finds both excites and terrifies him.

Because this world isn't one built for love. This is a world where marriage is expected and planned, a world where nobody feels a thing, a world in emotionless grayscale.

And they _aren't allowed to exist_.

His breath catches in his throat, and Daehyun tightens his grip on his arm, a soft sigh escaping his lips. 

This can't last forever. Not here.

They have to go.

* * *

They move quickly, after that.

The plan comes together in a matter of days. Dongho has access to a car, and among the things Minsung left Minsoo is a map to escape.

It's almost comically easy.

Dongho points out the flaws with Minsung's original plan, and they listen as he explains what went wrong before. 

"We were at the wall," he states, and Minsoo didn't know there _was_ a wall, "when the guards found us. Minsung told me to take Koko, Minyoung, and the kids and run, so we scattered. I tried to grab their attention, but after I got cornered, I jumped off a bridge and into the river. I should've died. They all did."

Minsoo opts not to point out the possibility that they didn't, and instead simply nods. 

"We have to be fast and sneaky," Dongho asserts. "Blend in well and move quick."

The three of them nod, and Dongho's gaze flickers around the warehouse - to the table and sofas, to the mirrors, to the books strewn across every surface - and then back to his hands.

"Unless they already suspect us, that is."

That's... a dismal suggestion.

"Think positive," Minsoo teases, leaning over to poke the space between Dongho's brows. "If you frown that much, you'll get frown lines."

Dongho frowns even harder, just to make a point, and Minsoo pouts.

"You're supposed to smile!"

"I don't smile."

"That's a lie."

"...hnh."

* * *

They take their leave in the dead of night.

It's an hour past curfew when Daehyun crawls out of his window and lands in the bushes, gaze flitting around the garishly-colored neighborhood before landing on the van sitting in front of his house.

It's not painted neon - Dongho's doing, most likely - and Daehyun greatly appreciates it.

He hops in, and Jaewon pulls the door shut behind him as Dongho fucking _floors it_. Daehyun's thrown back, colliding painfully with Jaewon, and Minsoo shrieks as Dongho takes the turns far too fast to be legal.

"What about secrecy, hyung? _What about secrecy?_ "

"Fuck secrecy," Dongho simply states, and Daehyun and Minsoo both scream as they fly onto the highway.

" _What the fuck are you doing?_ " Minsoo howls, clutching the armrests for dear life. "You'll kill us all!"

"I haven't crashed yet," Dongho serenely replies, and Minsoo shrieks as Dongho swerves around some poor other commuter. 

" _Slow this fucking van down!_ "

"No."

" _Kang Dongho!_ "

"We're going to die," Jaewon whispers, and Daehyun nods, the pair clinging to each other like koalas. "We're actually going to die."

Dongho takes a turn at eighty miles per hour, and everyone save the driver screams.

Never before has Jaewon seen orange and green this brightly.

* * *

Once they arrive at the wall, Minsoo has to excuse himself to vomit in the bushes.

Daehyun sags against the van, exhaustion weighing him down, and Jaewon flops on the ground, comfortable in the feeling of solid earth.

"I thought that went well," Dongho states, apropos of nothing. 

"Shut up," Minsoo groans, pointing one shaking finger at the eldest. "You- shut up."

"We have to get moving," Dongho points out, and Jaewon makes a pathetic sort of whining sound as he stumbles to his feet. "You okay?"

"Good," Jaewon whispers, and Dongho's gaze flickers between the three of them, something apologetic in his eyes.

"Was it really-"

" _Yes_."

They have about an hour before the patrol comes, but they're still a ways out from the wall, and Dongho's pace is _merciless_. Halfway through, Jaewon trips, and Dongho tosses the younger man over his shoulder without missing a beat, which Daehyun both appreciates and envies.

(he wants to be carried by dongho too, okay? sue him.)

They arrive at the small door just as the sun's starting to peek over the horizon, and Minsoo knocks - one-two-three-four-five - before it opens, an angular face peering at him through the thin crack.

"What's the password?"

"There's a password?" Minsoo asks, gaze flitting to Dongho. "Hyung, you didn't mention anything about a password."

The boy's eyes widen, and he pushes the door open a little further, revealing a mop of red-green hair not unlike a tree. "Hyung?"

"Hyunjin?"

Minsoo gasps as the boy hurtles through the gap, tackling Dongho in a hug. " _Hyung_!"

"Hyunjin," Dongho breathes, relief mingling with awe and _joy_ in his eyes. "How-"

"Yah," someone calls, and Minsoo blinks at a caramel-haired man with studs up his ears. "We gotta get going."

His gaze flits over the group before landing on Minsoo, and his lips curl into a half-grin. "Heh. Should've known it'd be genetic."

"What?"

"Talk in the plane," caramel-hair states, and Hyunjin reluctantly releases Dongho, who seems more stunned than anything else. "I'm Moon Kyunghun, by the way."

"Nice to meet you!" Daehyun grins, and Kyunghun stares at him, unimpressed.

"...mhm."

* * *

The four of them sit in the back, and nobody says a word.

The rising sun streams in through the windows, and Daehyun's head rests on Dongho's shoulder, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he stares out at the sea. Across the row, Minsoo stares out the window, eyes brimming with tears and a hopeful smile on his lips, and finally, Jaewon gazes at the passing sea, an expression of pure delight on his face. 

"We made it," Minsoo finally whispers, and Dongho nods. "We really... we really made it."

They have _options_. They can go anywhere, do anything, be whoever they want to be...

and yet, Minsoo doesn't want to be anywhere else than right here.

"I don't wanna leave you guys," Jaewon pipes up, and three pairs of eyes flit to him. "I don't... you guys make me really happy, and I don't... I don't wanna leave you."

"Same!" Daehyun exclaims, and Dongho nods, small but convincing.

Minsoo grins, resting his chin on his hand. "Awesome!"

Jaewon's lips curl into a tiny grin, and Daehyun throws himself across the plane to wrap himself in Jaewon's arms. "I love you guys," he mumbles, and the others exchange looks before Minsoo smiles, wrapping his arms around Jaewon and Daehyun.

"Love you too, Dae."

* * *

Five years later, things are looking up.

Minsoo blows his silver hair out of his face, lamenting _yet again_ deciding to dye his hair when it always gets sweaty and gross. Dongho's sitting across the table, a mug in one hand and pen in the other, and Daehyun sits between them, classwork strewn around him and lips pursed into a frown. 

"Remind me again why I wanted to do this?" he wails, throwing his arms across the table as his lips purse into a frown. "I just wanna help people!"

"You'll make a great teacher," Dongho assures him, and Daehyun makes a rather impressive sound halfway between a wail and a shriek.

"Yeah, but the _coursework_! Why is there _so much of it_?"

"It doesn't get easier," Dongho states, and Daehyun wails. "How was work today, Min?"

"I got to meet some new students," Minsoo grins, resting his chin on his hand. "You know afternoon classes are the _best_."

"Yesterday, you said morning classes were 'the shit'," Dongho points out, and Minsoo nods.

"Yeah. They're shit."

"Mm."

"Have any other teachers mistaken you for a student this year?"

Dongho cringes at that, the reminder of last year still fresh in his mind, and Daehyun snorts, head falling forward to thunk against the table.

"I still can't believe she tried to give me detention."

" _I_ still can't believe you quoted _Shakespeare_ at her to get her to back off."

"No high school student voluntarily reads Shakespeare?" Dongho tries, and Minsoo snorts.

"That was your best idea?"

"Well, I couldn't tell her my lovely partners dyed my hair bright orange to prank me for my first day of classes and _then_ hid my papers so I was late, could I?"

"I took your papers!" Daehyun cries, the sound muffled by his hands. "I didn't hide them!"

"Same end result."

The door clicks, and Jaewon toes off his shoes, lips curling into a bright grin. "Hi!"

"Welcome back," Dongho hums, gesturing to Daehyun. "How was work?"

"We got in a new cat today," Jaewon breathes, plopping down at the table and resting his chin on his hand. "Oh my god, she's _adorable_ , but she's sick, so it's going to take a lot of money to help her."

Daehyun and Minsoo exchange looks, and Daehyun rounds the table to grab Jaewon's sleeve, yanking him into the other room. 

"Huh?" the redhead wonders, letting Daehyun drag him into the bedroom. "Dae, Dae, wait-"

The door clicks shut, and Dongho shrugs, turning his attention back to his paper. 

Their grand master plan is almost a success!

"You're meeting up with Kyunghun-ah and Youngjoon-ah tomorrow, right?" Dongho asks, and Minsoo nods, gaze straying to the windows. 

"They said they had something they want to show me... I don't know what it is."

"Mm. Stay safe, Min."

"Love you too, babe."

* * *

It's Minsoo's day off, hence him smelling like a human and not a dumpster.

His fingers drum against the table top, gaze straying to the charm bracelet Daehyun insisted they wear. He didn't have to insist - they all would've done it voluntarily - but when Daehyun starts begging, it's hard to refuse. 

Not that they would.

He didn't bother putting much effort into today's outfit, and he hasn't ever since Youngjoon once showed up to their apartment drunk off his ass and sobbing about how cute Kyunghun is wearing only one shoe and his pants on his head. 

That's not something you can live down.

He perks up once he catches sight of a head of blue hair, and Youngjoon and Kyunghun enter the coffee shop, an unfamiliar third person in tow. 

"Hey!" he enthuses, raising a hand in hopes of catching their attention. "Over here!"

Youngjoon starts forwards, but the third person - a man with a white beanie jammed over blue and pink hair - seems rooted in his spot, eyes wide and gaze fixed on Minsoo.

"Um," Minsoo ventures, rising to lean against the table, "hi?"

The guy's still staring.

"Is there... is there something on my face?"

Knowing Daehyun's love of lipstick, most likely.

"Minsoo," the man whispers, and Minsoo stares at him, bewildered as to why the man's dark eyes are filled with tears. 

"Who-"

Oh.

The eyes, the nose, the crooked smile-

" _Minsung-hyung?_ "

Oh, god.

Minsoo's not sure who moves first, but within seconds, he's wrapped up in Minsung's arms, his older brother's nose pressed into his hair and tears rolling down both men's cheeks.

"Hyung," Minsoo sobs, reaching up to grab fistfuls of Minsung's hoodie. "Hyung, hyung, _hyung_ -"

"You've gotten so big," Minsung breathes, tears making a home in Minsoo's hair. "God, Minsoo-"

"Not really," Minsoo sniffs, and Minsung laughs - soft and wet. "How- _how_?"

"Seokkie and Jinnie picked me up," Minsung breathes, still clinging onto Minsoo as though he'll disappear if he lets go. "I can't- I can't believe you're really here, Soo..."

"Me neither," Minsoo breathes.

For a long moment, they don't say a word. Minsung's arms provide protection from the world, and Minsoo silently sobs into his older brother's sweatshirt, ignoring the tears dampening his own straw-like hair.

It's perfect.

Honestly, blissfully, perfect.

"So," Minsung states once they're sitting (youngjoon and kyunghun may have had to pry them apart after fifteen minutes, though youngjoon did most of the prying while kyunghun cheered him on with... questionable moral support) "what have you been up to, Soo-yah?"

"I'm a dance teacher," Minsoo grins, taking a sip of his coffee. "I'm a dance teacher, and I live with Dongho, Jaewon, and Daehyun."

"You four...?" Minsung asks, making some sort of gesture that Minsoo interprets as meaning "are together".

"Yeah. Yeah, we are. Dongho's teaching literature at a nearby school, and Daehyunnie's in Uni, studying for his degree. Jaewonnie works at an animal shelter, and... that's about it!"

"I'm so happy for you," Minsung whispers, and Minsoo panics upon seeing tears well up in his dark eyes.

"Ah, hyung, don't cry! I'll start crying, too!"

"Indulge me," Minsung sniffs, and Minsoo laughs, taking another swig of his coffee. "You're so big..."

"It's been seven years," Minsoo points out, panic only mounting as Minsung scrubs at his eyes. "Ah- hyung-"

"I should've taken you with me," Minsung murmurs, and Minsoo falls silent. "I should've- I should've tried to get you out sooner, Soo. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be."

Minsung blinks at him, and Minsoo reaches across the table to grasp his hands. "If you had gotten me out then, I never would've met Jaewonnie or Daehyunnie. Don't apologize for that, hyung."

Minsoo's not surprised when Minsung starts crying again, but he keeps holding his hands nonetheless.

This- this is what he always dreamed of. His brother safe and alive, his partners at home and happy-

it's perfect.

And as Minsoo stares out at the street, he feels his heart soar.

**Author's Note:**

> dongho: the bisexual we needed, not the one we deserve
> 
> for anyone who's confused as to who koko is, she's one of the members of marshmell-o
> 
> also we tolerate no minsung hate in this comment section >:( today is Quality Lee Bros Content Time
> 
> the colors to emotions:  
> red: love (platonic or romantic)  
> orange: fear  
> yellow: joy  
> green: disgust/horror  
> blue: sadness  
> purple: surprise
> 
> [twit](https://twitter.com/i_was_human_) | [lit fic discord!](https://discord.gg/CNunB74)


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